Dear Jodi,
I wonder if you know that I feel so lucky to have you in my life. I was just thinking about that today when I was making dinner. This whole distance thing really blows. Who do you think we were in past lives that we're able to call each other "friends" without having ever seen each other's faces?
When I read your comment, half asleep at 8pm EST in bed, my immediate thought was, "WAIT, WHAT?!? Why the fuck didn't you SAY Pantley's book was the answer to all my prayers?!?!?!" Sadly, I am not kidding.
You see, I'm not that "excellent" mom who just roughs out a phase or who puts her life aside to go to bed at 8pm for the last 5 years. I mean, at least I don't do those things cause I'm "excellent"...I do them cause I'm clueless. And hopeful. Really, I do hope that eventually, one day soon (preferably), Bryan will let me leave his side for a moment without waking up in complete and utter disarray. Or wake up without crying hysterically if I happen to be in the shower instead of by his side. You know, because setting my alarm for 5:15am every morning so that I miss his light sleep stage which doesn't happen again until 5:45am is not fun. Taking a shower all nervous thinking I'm hearing yells from the other side of the door is not fun. But still, I remain hopeful. More than anything, because the alternative is not something I think could work and I haven't reached my wits' end yet, but definitely not because I am an excellent mom.
Honestly, I think that excellent mom is the one who is so in tune with her baby that she sees the baby is ready for a change and tries it out, not being stuck on any one decision. That's the mom I know you are. And the excellent mom is you for having found what is clearly working in a very real and positive way for both you AND Katherine. That speaks volumes. That's what the excellent mom does.
Anyway, I just wanted to clarify my position. I do recommend cosleeping. I can't imagine my life any other way. I do believe wholeheartedly that babies younger than 18 mos are very rarely ready to make the transition from out of the family bed and into their own. I believe it because of research I've done and read, but mostly because of my own heart strings which tug and pull at the mere thought of my babies not wanting to sleep with me. But even more than that, I believe in YOU and loving, caring souls I'm blessed enough to call my friends like you who make different decisions and I respect and believe in their decisions for them and their kids. I know you know it wasn't directed at you, but I am sorry if any of it sounded judgmental because it really wasn't meant to be that way at all and really isn't how I feel.
As for Pantley, have I ever told you I am so freaking stubborn that I have no problem shooting off my leg to save my foot?? My problem with her is that she advocates her method (which I admit to not knowing much about because of the following premise alone) with babies as young as four months, and I take real issue with that as I'm pretty sure you do, too. So because of that, even if she is the answer to all my prayers, I won't read her.
I love you very much, Jodester, and it is mothers like you who inspire me to be a better mom every day.
