It's Late

I know it's late and I should be sleeping, but I'm not.

Instead I'm using the light from my cell phone to stare at my babies. Jonathan keeps blurting stuff out in his sleep and it always amazes me how he processes his day this way.

Bry is making baby noises and sucking motions with his mouth.

There are days when I just can't believe they're mine.

Jonathan just popped up in his sleep, made finger shadows on the wall with the light from the phone, and plopped back to sleep. It would have cracked me up if it hadn't freaked me out so much first.

Bry likes for me to wrap my arm around him while he sleeps. I'm not complaining.

When I was pregnant with Bry, I had to get Jonathan accustomed to sleeping on a different side and relying more on Papi's body warmth than mine. I beat myself up about that a lot. At least 3 times a night he still searches out my hand to rub the skin on the finger pad of specifically the pinky, which for some odd reason, puts him back to sleep. Don't try to give him any other finger. It has to be the pinky. He says the skin is the softest there.

Bry has to sleep with his legs between mine. He doesn't nurse so much at night anymore -- maybe three times or so, but I love it when he snuggles so close that my breast is his pillow. That is, after all, his intention.

I'm not going anywhere with this. I just want to remember this moment forever.