Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Finally, I blog about breastfeeding...

I sit down after a stressful couple of days and I find this little gem... oh where oh where should I begin (hahaha, you probably thought I was going to say "could my little dog be?"). 

Let's start with T's eczema.  Does he consume dairy, Valk?  I know, I know-- your people and all, but it's worth looking into.  Eczema can definitely be a symptom of an intolerance to casein.  Not human casein.  Other casein.  Is it bovine casein?  Yeah, that.

You guys crack me up.  I have to tell you I think Sujong hit the nail on the head when she discussed breastfeeding being "biologically normal".    I am currently about to quit my job over this same argument, no lies, because some people I work with insist on discussing ad nauseum (sp?) the "benefits" of breastfeeding.  It is this superior attitude that is absolutely NO different than the disgusted attitude Kim K had in her stupid tweet.  I can't remember who said it but I was not at all shocked that Kim K did not show Kourt any sort of sensitivity since it is so in character for her to only think about herself.  I think she's the middle child or something.  Anyway...

Valk!  You have to learn to NEVER READ THE COMMENTS!!  Those people are fucking idiots!  All of them!  Just like the ones that go on there and start professing how they nursed their babies for x amount and "all my baby gets is booby milk!" and they want a pat on the back.

Disclaimer:  I want a pat on the back.  I wanted it soooo much more before.  But now, now I think I want something even more.  I think I want it to be the most boring, normal thing for me to have been nursing every single day of my life for the last 5 years, 3 months and 9 days.  I don't want it be shocking to anyone anymore.  I want it to be such a non-issue that I don't even ever think to count the time.  Why?  Because, really, there isn't anything special about it.  Sad to say, but I must soon find another claim to fame.  Maybe I can make it big blogging about guarding and protecting hearts or something. :)

Women pull the damn guilt card because as a society, we allow them to.  We sit here and hand hold and tip toe because we don't want to make any postpartum mother feel "bad", as if we were so fucking powerful that we had the control to make someone else feel a certain way.  I'm so over people not taking responsibility for their own damn actions.  There's a big difference between presenting facts in the  matter of fact way they simply are and lacing your facts with breastfeeding nazi rhetoric.  I'm not talking about the latter.  I used to be the latter.  Now, I just discuss the truth.  Why?  Because no one would worry about making a smoking, heroin shooting crackwhore of a pregnant mother feel guilty, would they? No, because the facts are the facts and the science is the science. 

And, as a decision maker, you cannot feel guilty for that which you did not know or know how to execute.   You make the best choice with what you have to work with.  The mother who really thought, because she bought into the million dollar advertising campaign that formula was "just as good" or who knew breastmilk was the obvious choice, but had no idea and no support on how to execute her plan shouldn't feel guilty.  The mother who came across a trusted nurse or pediatrician who began supplementing the baby at birth and sent mom home with enough samples of formula to get through the Apocalypse shouldn't feel guilty.  She should feel ANGRY.  Not at herself.  But at us- the public health community.  *We* failed those mothers.  No one else.  

And we all continue to do so when  as a society, we go on and on about the supposed "benefits".  We need to just stop with the benefits bullshit.  Breastfeeding has no benefits.  I think that's why I loved Kourtney's blog the most - because she was just so nonchalant about it.  She was very "this is me, this is what I want to do, the end".  I have a lot of respect for that. 

I think we should just begin to discuss the obvious and that is that NOT breastfeeding is nothing short of a landmine of risks. 

You know what pisses me off MORE than the personal choice argument?  The "I fed my baby formula and he/she turned out just fine"!  Yeah, well, my dad used to give me sips of beer when I was you think if I do that Jonny will STFU about his arm already?! ;-)

BTW, Valk, you and everyone else have every single right to be angry because it DOES affect you.  Among many other things, thanks to all those moms who made the "personal choice" to not breastfeed or made the "personal choice" to ignore the help that was offered, your insurance premiums are higher, your Danny is exposed to a shit ton of sickly children whose germs he then brings home to you, your seats on planes are getting more expensive because of the obesity issue, your Earth is being polluted with the byproducts of manufacturing formula, and most importantly, that Womanhood you stand so proudly for and represent in such exquisite fashion is being destroyed.

I will be the first to admit that breastfeeding my children was a personal choice-- I had the audacity to want to reduce my predisposed genetic inclination for breast cancer by 37%.  It was a selfish choice I made, which in turn became a selfish choice I continued to make every day because it empowered me as a woman.  The other stuff is just the fruit of my labor. You know, in the same way that pushing a baby out of my vagina or withstanding an asshat of a doctor while she chopped me up to give me Bryan made my fabulous children the fruit of my labor.  Should I be awarded for that? Given a fucken medal?  Or maybe acknowledged as having done what the human race is supposed to do- carry on?

So, carry on, my friends!  :)


Valkyrie said...

Marry me and nurse my babies! :-D

I agree with you about Sujong's comment, and I was planning on telling her that too. That is exactly the word we should be using when it comes to breastfeeding--NORMAL. It boggles my mind that bottlefeeding is what is perceived as NORMAL in this fucked up society, and this is just the tip of such an iceberg of fury for me because this antipathy we have toward breastfeeding is based on such a deep, deep denial of what it is to be a woman. It's a rejection of womanhood, motherhood, and the normal function of the breast. Deep roots in a misogynistic past, deep roots in a scientific community that is arrogant and believes it can one up God and nature.

There are so many aspects to this, I can't even begin to scratch the surface because I get tied up in knots of anger.

T-bone does drink milk and I am sure that it is a factor in his eczema. Unfortunately, he does not take after my people--he takes after his father's people. His father had issues with milk always, but it manifested in different ways (digestive). When T was little, his eczema always flared up when he drank cow's milk, but he was perfectly fine with goat's milk. Anyway, his eczema went away for many years, but it's back now. Maybe there is a hormonal component too? I told him he should try taking dairy out of his diet to see if it would help, but he said no. He said it's not worth it to him to give up the milk. It's too bad that people who can't handle milk are not also endowed with a hatred for its flavor!